What is Twaddle?

Well, that's the million dollar question isn't it? I was trying to answer that for myself as I went through a couple of shelves last night.

At the top of my list was anything that seemed like it had been written by some sort of mercenary hack and not a writer proper. I have tons of books that I just hate to read to the kids because the language is awkward and jerky and stilted and boring. By comparison, today Henry and I read Virginia Lee Burton's, "The Little House", which was thoroughly enjoyable. Same with things like, "Make Way For Ducklings" or "Hop on Pop". They aren't merely plot driven word jumbles with treacly morality ("So, Tyler and Megan promised to be best friends forever and ever. And they were. The End.") They are well-considered in their use of language.

If the book was based on a sub-plot from a Disney Princess movie it was out. I'll tolerate Disney's, "Beauty and the Beast", but not, "Belle and Jasmine Hook Up with Cinderella at Starbucks for Skinny Lattes: Part II". I cringe to think of how many of these there were. Blue's Clues. Gone. Strawberry Shortcake. Gone. Care Bears. Gone.

But how's this for slicing the bologna a little thin? I kept the My Little Ponies books. This had less to do with my attachment to the Ponies than to Henry's attachment to the books. Don't ask. I couldn't possible come up with an answer.

I kept lots of little readers (No "Silly Sally" but "Silly Sarah", how different could they be?) as long as they made sense. For some reason, some readers marked Level One have some decidedly not Level One type words. Like, "See Bob dive. See Bob swim. See Bob quadruple twist."

So, yeah, very subjective, but I also tried to keep this in mind. I have (-----) this much time to exercise my iron literary will over these kids and (------------------------) this many books I want them to read. If they spend (--) this much time reading "Bionicles" there only (--) this much time left for the Beatrix Potter series.

But, you know, if we're at the bookstore or the library and they sit down with twaddle I'm not going to snatch it out of their hands or make a comment but when they wander over the bookshelf at home looking for something to read I want to make sure they have something nutritious from which to choose. They don't even know about the revolution that's taken place as it was all done in the dark of night and I was careful not to remove anything that would arouse immediate suspicion.

Brittney brings up an interesting dilemma regarding classic books retooled for children. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, classics are typically classics not because they have great plot lines but because they have beautiful language and sometimes great plot lines too (and lots of other things, natch). On the other hand, as Brittney points out, Beowulf at any age can be a struggle but early exposure can make it seem less insurmountable later when faced with the real deal. To that end I have recently acquired the works of Marcia Williams whose cartoon style reworking of things like, "The Canterbury Tales" and "Robin Hood" are too darned cute to pass up.

So what's on our current reading list? Eleanor is reading, "Clarice Bean Spells Trouble", which is a contemporary book by British author and illustrator, Lauren Child (late of "Charlie and Lola" fame). Our read-aloud is "Little Women" - the original- and we are nearly finished. Henry and I just finished, "The World of Pooh", by A.A. Milne and started, "The Story of Doctor Dolittle".

I am reading "Inferno" (again, for a class), "A Year in Provence" (again, for bookclub), trying to finish "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" and a stack of homeschooling/teaching books that grows more than shrinks.

I'm prone to crazes and this could be one of those but if it is it will be one of the more harmless in which I've indulged (trust me) and if its not, what's the worst that could happen?